ASSOCIATION
NEWSLETTER
Arkansas District & City Court Clerks Association
May 12, 13, 14, 2005
A Greeting from the President,
Hello everyone,
WELCOME TO HOT SPRINGS!! Welcome to the
Annual District Judges and Clerks Certification Program. I believe the Certification
Committee has put together a session that everyone will enjoy and benefit from
in some way. Please keep in mind that the New Clerk’s orientation will be given
on Friday morning during the breakout sessions. Chief Clerk’s please be sure
your deputies have all taken this class if they intend to work toward
certification. For all the new Chief Clerks, this is a class that is required
to become a Certified District Court Clerk and it is best to go ahead and get
this class out of the way the first time it is offered. It is only offered once
a year at the May meeting. There is a notebook on the registration table that
has a list of everyone’s hours and notations as to whether or not a clerk has
taken the orientation class. Please check your records and feel free to contact
Vickie Asher, from
Thursday afternoon, we are privileged to have Ray "the Dice Man" Semco as a keynote speaker. I had the opportunity to hear Mr. Semco at an ACIC conference a couple of years ago and I think that the clerks will enjoy his presentation. I for one can’t wait to hear him speak again so I hope all of you will make an effort to attend this program.
I would like to encourage all of our regular members to get around to meet and greet any new clerks we have attending this meeting. Please come and introduce yourself or have someone introduce you so we can get to know you and answer any questions you may have. Don’t forget the hospitality room that will be open in the evenings.
Once again, welcome to all and I hope you enjoy and learn a great deal at this meeting.
Dena Titsworth
President ARDCCCA
CLERK SPOTLIGHT
Donna Clifton is a Chief Clerk for Faulkner District
Court in
Vickie Wright has been a Clerk since 1995 and is a Deputy
Clerk for
Lindzy Purifoy since 2002 is a Deputy Clerk in
Bertie Yates is a Deputy Clerk for Bald Knob City Court
in
Cherry Wolf is Deputy Clerk for
Del Rae Templeton has been Deputy Clerk for the Bryant
District Court in
Phyllis Price has been Chief Clerk for
Linda Black has been a Clerk at Bald Knob in
UPCOMING SCHEDULE
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05/12/05 |
05/14/05 |
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AOC |
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05/12/05 |
05/14/05 |
District & City Court Clerks Annual Meeting |
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AOC |
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08/18/05 |
08/19/05 |
District & City Court Clerks Certification (Chief Clerks) |
Holiday Inn |
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AOC |
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09/22/05 |
09/24/05 |
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AOC |
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11/18/05 |
11/18/05 |
District & City Court Clerks Certification (1st & 3rd Districts) |
Holiday Inn |
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AOC |
DAFFY-LAFFY-NITIONS
ADULT: a person who has stopped growing at
both ends and is now growing in the middle.
BEAUTY PARLOR: a place where women curl up
and dye.
COMMITTEE: a body that keeps minutes and
waste hours.
DUST: mud with the juice squeezed out.
EGOTIST: someone who is usually me-deep in
conversation.
HANKERCHIEF: cold storage.
INFLATION: cutting money in half without
damaging the paper.
MISQUITO: an insect that makes you like
flies better.
SECRET: something you tell to one person at
a time.
TOOTHACHE: the pain that drives you to
extraction.
TOMMORROW: one of the greatest labor saving
devices of today.
A COWBOYS GUIDE TO LIFE
* Life is not
about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.
* Every path has a few puddles
* If you are riding ahead of the herd, take a look
back now and then to make sure they are still with ya.
* The biggest troublemaker you’ll probably have to
deal with watches you in the mirror every morning.
* If you get to thinking you’re a person of some
influence, try ordering around someone else’s dog.
* Always drink upstream from the herd.
* Don’t squat with your spurs on.
TRY THIS
While sitting at your desk, lift your right
foot off the floor and make clockwise circles. Now, while doing this, draw the
number "6" in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change
directions and there is nothing you can do about it.
WHAT SOMEBODY SAID ABOUT
MOTHERS
Somebody said, it takes about six weeks to
get back to normal after you have had a baby... somebody doesn’t know, that
once you become a mother, normal is history.
Somebody said, you
learn how to be a mother by instinct…somebody never took a 3 year old shopping.
Somebody said, "good"
mothers never raise their voices…somebody never came out of the door just in
time to see her child hit a golf ball through the neighbors front window.
Somebody said, a
mothers job is done when her last child leaves home…somebody never had
grandchildren.
Somebody said, a mother could do her job
with her eyes closed and one hand tied behind her back…somebody never tried to
organize seven giggling Brownies to sell cookies.
Q. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?
Q. Why don’t we get goose bumps on our faces? Goose bumps appear only on
those parts of the body that have hair.
Q. Why are there handicapped spaces in front of skating rinks?
Q. Why do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counter?
Q. Why do they have drive up ATM machines with brail lettering?
Q. Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Q. Why isn’t there a mouse-flavored cat food?
Q. Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?
Q. Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
WHAT KIDS SAY ABOUT LOVE
A group of professional people posed this
question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, what does LOVE mean?" the answers
they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you
think:
"Love is when you go out to eat and
give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of
theirs." Chrissy 6
"Love is what makes you smile when
you’re tired." Terri 4
"Love is what’s in the room with you at
Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." Bobby 7
"If you want to learn to love better,
you should start with a friend who you hate." Nikka 6 (we need a few more
Nikka’s on this planet)
"Love is like a little old woman and a
little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so
well." Tommy 6
"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the
best piece of chicken." Elaine 5
"My mommy loves me more than anybody.
You don’t see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." Clare 6
"Love is when your puppy licks your
face even after you left him alone all day." Mary Ann 4
"You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’
unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People
forget." Jessica 8
"When someone loves you, the way they
say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their
mouth. " Billy 4
"Love is when a girl puts on perfume
and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."
Kari 5
A GIGGLE
A doctor was addressing a large audience in
"The material we put into our stomachs
is enough to have killed most of us sitting here years ago. Red meat is awful.
Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High
fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused
by the germs in our drinking water."
He continued to say, "But there is one
thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can
anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering
for years after eating it?"
After several seconds of quiet, a
75-year-old man sitting in the front row raised his hand, and softly said. "Wedding Cake."
QUOTABLE QUOTES
The hardest years in life are those between
10 and 70. –Helen Hayes, 73-
Things are going to get a lot worse before
they get worse. –Lily Tomlin,-
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic
who never owned a car. –Carrie Snow-
Old age ain’t no place for sissies. –Betty Davis-
A man’s got to do what a man’s got to do. A
woman must do what he can’t. –Rhonda Hansome-
I try to take one day at a time---but
sometimes several days attack me at once. –Jennifer Unlimited-
When I was young, I was put in a school for
retarded kids for two years before they realized I actually had a hearing lose.
And they called ME slow. –Kathy Buckley-
Behind every successful man is a surprised
woman. –Maryon Pearson-
In politics, if you want anything said, ask
a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman.
-Margaret Thatcher-
I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on
how to combine marriage and a career. -Gloria Steinmem-
Nobody can make you feel inferior without
your permission. -Eleanor Roosevelt-
I am marvelous housekeeper; every time I
leave a man I keep his house. -Zsa Zsa Gabor-
Hmmm Corner
Just because you can’t see something doesn’t
mean it isn’t there.
What’s black and white and red all over? A zebra with a sun burn.
Why I like tape recorders, it’s a machine
that never forgets or changes anything.
Never read the fine print. There ain’t no way you’re going to like it.
The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody
has the size bucket.
To err is human, to forgive - highly
unlikely.
Living in nudist colony takes all the fun
out of Halloween.
Anger is only one letter short of danger.
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t
live long enough to make them all yourself.
Many people will walk in and out of your
life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.
FOR
Monday is an awful way to spend one seventh
of your life.
KIDS ARE QUICK
Teacher to Donald: What is the chemical
formula for water?
Donald: H I J K L M N O
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Donald: Yesterday, you said it was H to O.
Teacher to Millie: Give me a sentence
starting with "I."
Millie: I is…
Teacher: No, Mille…. Always say, "I
am"
Millie: All right…"I am the ninth
letter of the alphabet."
Teacher to Harold: What do you call a person
who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Harold: A teacher
Teacher: George Washington not only chopped
down his fathers cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why
his father didn’t punish him?
Louie: Because George still had the ax in
his hand.
Teacher: Winnie, name one important thing we
have today that we didn’t have 10 years ago.
Winnie: Me!
PONDER THIS
There is no
"I" in Team!
Ever notice how
hard it is to wash just one hand?
Sometimes its mind
over matter, if you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
In life, our lives
begin to end when we refuse to speak about something that matters.
Is a lie a lie if everybody
knows it’s a lie?
I Would Like to Hear From You!
If you have something to
say, or some witty or clever saying, let me put it in writing for you. You can
fax it to (501) 354-9633, call me at (501) 354-9615, E-mail it to princesstish_51@yahoo.com, or mail it to
Parting
Shot
May all your fish be bigger
than the holes in your net.
Betty Campregher
Deputy Court Clerk,
Morrilton
Newsletter Editor /
Secretary